Speak the Truth

"Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes." I've seen that phrase and posted it on Facebook a few times over the past several months but it wasn't until this week that I had a chance to live it. It is only now that I realize how afraid I truly was to stand up and how important it was that I face my fears and speak my mind.


 Most people in my life know how I feel about psychiatric medication, particularly when used on children and teens, but this post isn't entirely about that. More than the medication issue, this post is about someone's voice being heard. It is about someone's opinion mattering. It is about how people in power stay in power through use of intimidation. It is about inspiring you to stand up for your own beliefs and helping others do the same. So here goes...


I am a Foster Care Counselor and as a requirement for my job I am expected to attend every medication management appointment that my children have. A few days ago I attended such an appointment with a psychiatrist at a local mental health facility. When I met with my client before the appointment they informed me that they wanted to tell the psychiatrist that they no longer wanted to take their antidepressant due to the side effects they were experiencing. I supported their decision and urged them to do what they felt was best. We were led back to the office and unkindly greeted by the psychiatrist. The first thing the client said was that they wanted to discontinue the medication due to adverse side effects. The client explained that they were in a good home now and that they felt they could be successful without the medication. I could see the doctor immediately try to pull something out of his hat to convince this teenager to stay on the medication. He first brought up the client's past and how stopping the medication would make their suicidal thoughts come back. Though he himself stated that the thoughts were most likely due to situational factors, he continued to try to persuade the client. Next he diminished the client's opinion by comparing their "minor side effects" to them being dead from a successful suicide. He stated it was better to have those side effects than to be dead. He tried to offer the client a new medication. They refused. He then went on to explain that by taking anti- depressants for at least one year, the chances of reoccurring depression are 20 something percent whereas stopping the medication after only a month increases the chances to 50 percent. He failed to mention that a side effect of the medication he was prescribing actually is suicidal thoughts and in some cases individuals actually follow through with those thoughts. By this time I could see the client's body posturing changing. They were closed off. Their arms and legs were crossed. The client said that they would just continue to take the medication and I could sense a feeling of defeat in their voice. They even mentioned feeling bad about not wanting to take the medication. This doctor had managed to make the client feel guilty for having an opinion about their own body and what goes into it! I spoke up. I asked the doctor why we couldn't try to stop the medication and keep a close eye on the client. I explained that they can call me anytime and that their foster mother is very supportive. He did not reply. He continued to explain why he thought it was a bad idea to stop the medication so I spoke up again and said that I feel the client should be able to make their own decisions and that I do not think they should have to do something that they do not want to do. I explained to the client that they would be sixteen soon and at that point they can consent to their own medications. The client agreed to give it another month and continue taking the medications, though I could tell they were not pleased. I felt bad for even agreeing that they should continue to take the medication for a month but I knew that there was no way DCS would allow them to stop taking the medication "against medical advice", a phrase which the doctor repeated numerous times. I knew that if the client waited another month as soon as they turn sixteen all they would have to do is sign a piece of paper and it would be done. After the appointment the psychiatrist said that he needed to have a word with me, so I sat down... not knowing what to expect. He sternly said "I do not appreciate the way that you talked to me during the session and the way that you undermined me in front of my client." I told him that I certainly did not mean it that way and that I was merely trying to make sure that my client has a voice. He said "I know that you are their case manager but if you ever do that again with one of my clients, I'll see to it that you are not allowed in the room during the appointments." I told him that I was sorry he felt that way but that my intention was to advocate for my client and make sure that their opinion was being heard. He stated that he "takes suicidal thoughts very seriously" and I assured him that our company does as well and that we already have safety plans in place, etc. I went on to explain how I've noticed that most children act intimidated in the appointments and that they don't always let their opinions be known because of that. I explained that  it was my job to make sure they are heard. I could tell he was not listening to me at this point and he finished the conversation by saying he would chalk this one up to a misunderstanding but that if it ever happened again I wouldn't be allowed to be in the room. I left feeling all sorts of things. I was pissed that he had talked to me that way. I was sad that I was being punished for doing what was right. I was even more upset that he and doctors like him do not listen to their patients and will try to silence anyone who speaks up for them. He hid behind his "concern" for the client but I felt it was much more than that. Was it a liability for the client to stop taking the medication? If they did harm themselves, would he be to blame? Well what happens if they harm themselves while they are on the medication?! NOTHING. That's what happens... absolutely nothing. He doesn't care if the client kills themselves while taking the medication, only that they keep taking it and keep coming for appointments, thus bringing in money for his company. I know in my heart of hearts that is exactly why he wanted them to continue the medication. If someone was going to get in the way of him making a buck, he would shut them up! .

Well, he didn't scare me and I'm not going to shut up. I don't care who he is or what degree he has hanging on his wall. I believe that people know their bodies better than anyone else. I believe that I am here to help people stand up for themselves and if they can't do it, I will speak up for them. I am not going to sit around and let the "professionals" bully my clients or me! A good friend of mine told me not to take this personally. She told me that it was just his ego fluffing up because he felt threatened. The whole paradigm is being threatened and those who do not want change are doing everything they can to stop it. I can assure you that change is here and that it cannot and will not be stopped. The old ways are dying and there is nothing that anyone can do about it! We are not going to stop because it makes someone feel uncomfortable. We are not going to stop because we are threatened or ridiculed. We will not stop! I will not stop! This single incident may become a turning point in my life. I feel more strongly than ever about the dangers of psychiatric drugging of children. I feel more strongly than ever that it is imperative for me to stand up and speak out against injustice. He may have thought that he scared me or weakened my conviction, but in fact he made me stronger.  I will be heard. I will ensure that the voices of those who are too young or too scared to speak up will be heard. I am not afraid. Find what you are passionate about and stand up with me! Stand up and speak out for those around you who have not found their voices or who are too afraid to let their opinions be heard. Be a voice for change and inspire others to do the same.





To learn more about the dangers of using psychiatric drugs in children click here.